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My boyfriend of two years has asked me about girl-on-girl sex and we both agreed we'd have a threesome on the stipulation that we break up afterwards. Recently he's been spending time, and nights, with a man who seems gay, but he has denied any infidelity.

Now I have found a video he made of himself, anally masturbating and screaming out his friend's name. When I confronted him, he said it was a phase. He's asked me to have sex with him with a strap-on before, so should I end this now? How can he love me, and make love with me, and then turn around and do it with a man? Like many people, your boyfriend seems to be exploring his sexuality.

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He does not want to lose you, but is being cautious about how accepting you might be of his erotic tastes. In his mind, this is just part of his sexual journey, and separate from how he feels about you, but I understand your discomfort. It's time to have a proper conversation, but you will not get genuine answers if he feels you will be judgmental. Affirm that you care about him, then phrase your questions gently, eg "Please help me to understand who you really are, erotically speaking.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. This article is more than 13 years old. My boyfriend says he wants to experiment with threesomes, and now a video he shot of himself anally masturbating makes me suspect he's having sex with another man.

Should I end this now? Explore more on these topics Sex Sexual healing Relationships features. Reuse this content. Comments … Sign in or create your Guardian account to join the discussion. Most viewed.