I felt ugly i felt gay

August 26, The ‪@H3Podcast‬ reacts to ‪@fouseyTUBE‬ 's speech and they discover their new favorite sound bite: "I felt ugly, I felt worthless, I felt gay-no no but just like but based on. I Felt Worthless, I Felt Ugly, I Felt Gay refers to memes and jokes about a Streamy Award acceptance speech by YouTuber Yousef Erakat, better known as FouseyTube or Fousey, in October Full from around 60s onward. I'm Virgo.

I'm I'm gay. So it has the same cadence as the other ones, maybe it's the original?. I felt worthless, I felt ugly, I felt gay. But I reminded myself the two most important words of my life that I have to use or myself whenever I was fighting my mental illness. Find H3Podcast Fouseytube I felt gay sound by Bechong in Tuna.

Play, download or share sound effects easily!. The expectant tension was building in our awkward phone conversation to an almost unbearable degree. I felt myself struggling to regulate my breath and appear nonchalant.

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He struggled for words, a way to open the door, for the very first time to anyone. His fear became so present, it felt like we may shatter when he finally found the words. When he finally told me, a few months from graduating high school in the spring of , every single bad, derogatory, judgemental comment I had ever heard about gay people played out in my memory.

We did not grow up in a home where bigotry and hateful speech was ever uttered. But we grew up mormon. A place where they talked about the sin of homosexuality. A place where t. Where traditional marriage was considered vital in protecting society and moral character. Where being gay was being a sexual deviant by choice. Where in , the mormon church would rally tremendous money and forces in to support Prop 8 in California.

I remembered every single off-hand remark or gesture he must have been exposed to. The jokes that were just not funny. The head shaking and tsk-tsking and whispers of how painful that must be for the family, how disgraceful. Shame and horror over those flashes burned in me, a small taste of how it must have burned in him for years. I wanted to crawl through the phone and wrap my arms around him.

I wanted to look him in the eye and tell him how I loved him. How it changed absolutely nothing about how I felt about him. How it was going to be fine. But I was thousands of miles away, and he was hiding in his basement bedroom in my parents house, filled with fear at being fully seen for the first time.

We went from rarely ever speaking on the phone, to talking for many hours every day for several months. If more than a day would pass, he would call, filled with fear of what I must be thinking of him, the judgement I was making, the disgust that must have been percolating for him. His vulnerability made me throb with empathy. My mother and father called too… begging for me to tell them what was going on.

What was wrong. Demanding that I let them in on the reasons for our daily contact. Their fears were an endless ticker tape of threatening possibilities in their minds. It was the only time in my life I lied consistently to my parents. Here is the part where I have to be brutally honest. I had no idea what to think.

I never considered that my brother had chosen to be gay.